Jess Jess Jess!

this is just a quick blog to realise things in my head! rawwwwwwr! so yeah i kinda like someone. that wouldnt seem weird i know however i have never met this person or even heard his voice i have seen him out and about but thats about it! so why do i think about him and wanan talk to him all the time? its not like me to feel this way about a boyfriend i have been seeing for months but this person has got into my thoughts and i dont want him to leave. this person knows who he is.

byeeee x

Today isnt a good day i dont think!
im home for the weekend but where i am meant to be feeling happy and excited to see my friends and family im feeling a little blah about it all.
dont get me wrong i love the friends and family but i cant help feeling that im out of place.
family for instance i have missed the last two months in their lives and a lot has changed. my sisters wedding is nearly all organised and i havent been part of it. my little brother has started a new school for disabled kids and i have missed it. my little sister has done a school play and i have missed it. when i got home no one was even in so i went and sat in the back garden with my dogs and i got a little tearful thinking about the things i have missed. when they all came home my little brother wouldnt hug me or let me give hima bath like i used to all the time. maybe its just me being a bit sensitive i dunno

then theres friends. we are all at uni apart from two who bum about at home. we speak to eachother everyday either by txt,msn or myspace about what we are all up to and we plan to meet up. seeing Hus today made me really bummed out as even things with him has changed. he has a gf at uni and she is coming to stay with him in the second week of the holidays. this made me feel a little pushed out not the fact he has a girlfriend just the fact i was the last to know and i know he has his reasons why but it still hurts.

saying goodbye to Kay made me sad and she cried at the station i feel guilty that she is back at uni with no one for two nights. i personally would hate it and i did say to her she could come home with me but she felt intrusive

anyway i am moany and this isnt making for a good read!

byeeeee x

day two of having a blog (im doing well not forgetting my password!)

so all my roomates have gone home bar one who im sacrificing my easter holidays for, Kay! Now this is my best friend at uni! I remember on my first day she was the first person to arrive and she had left little notes on everyones door to say hello and introduce herself (i still have it on my board). She is my little angel at uni! When im sick she comes and sits with me and watches rubbish tv into the early hours of the morning. When i get to drunk she always makes sure i get home okay and i dont die in my sleep (she keeps her door and my door open as she is opposite me). When i found out she couldnt go home at Easter i felt really bad and offered to stay with her but her being as nice as she is told me to go home. I refused and here i am! Just the two of us. We have lots planned over easter! We are going to make spaceship cakes, go for meals and discooo! I love her lots (shes having a nap in my bed as i write this!)

Although i am cool with being here over easter i keep getting asked by my friends at hom eto go and disco with them but i cant . This is the only thing im really sad about! However next Tuesday my three lovely boys Hus, Adam and Danny are coming to stay for a couple of nights! (its supposed to be a surprise but my mother leaked it! rubbish she is ) These days are going to be wicked, they are the best people to party and be around as they dont care about anything and they have always looked after me! One time at a school social i got my drink spiked by some trampy pikey and they wouldnt leave my side and took me to the hospital and stayed with me all night! I love them especially the fake morrocan

My best best best friend i still cant see for another 5 months as she is teaching English in Thailand. Damn her for being so charitable! I got the best email from her today with lots of pictures of her having fun with new people. Now im not a jealous person but seeing the pictures made me cry, im glad shes having fun but its without me and we have been fun makers together for life! I do love her though and miss her!

There is a lot of love in this blog i am feeling all lovey!

Spoke to my big brother today about home! The dogs are on there periods (nice little job for mum)! Dad is working abroad for 2 months soon. My sister has got her bridesmaids dresses sorted! Her husband to be has a new job but wouldnt say what ( a drug pusher im guessing). Little sister and brother are just the same! I wish i was a kid again!

byeeeeeeee x

This is now my new blog! woop. hopefully i wont be forgetting the password again! retard!

So the last couple of days havent really been exciting! they shouldnt even be classed as two separate days! Thus meaning i have nothing exciting to ramble on about!

Yesterday i had uni and im beguinning to think that there are now only 20 people on my course where as we started off with over 100! maybe its because i never go to anything and the things i do go to other people don't i'll look into it!
There was a really nice looking guy on my course i met in my 4th week but now he has vanished. If anyone knows where Ben is please tell me i have his passport at mine for some reason, means he wont be skipping the country any time soon!

im starting to really miss having baths. if any 2nd or 3rd years wish to rent there bath out to me once a week i would be much obliged. i will pay for my own bubbles and thrills!
Along with baths im also starting to miss and appreciate other home comforts such as my mum screaming at my sister, my dogs barking and my dads farts! Its so quiet and i miss all the hussle bussle of a family home.Mum emailed me today filling me in on whats happening at home and how im being missed...which im starting to believe is untrue due to the fact my family are now going to egypt in october...without me or without even inviting me. im going to have to head back and make my parents remember i am their child (and probably the best one they have)!

i say i am the best child and it may come across as cocky but i truly believe i am! i have given my mum and dad the least hassle out of all of us! here is why:
Ben:23 single and jobless. living off mum and dad. never at home alsways out getting drunk.
Anna: 21 and engaged. this meaning she is stressing the parents out over wedding plans. growing up she was a pain to i remember her trying toi always get her own way!
Sopie:15 TEENAGER! thats a pain in its self!
Thomas:7! its unfair to really say he stresses mum and dad out cos it really isn't his fault so he is out of the running
ME!19! at uni away from the hassle never cause trouble or worries for the parents just get along with things. always helps out.

so wheres my medal??

i do love my family! i always want to see them at uni but then when im home i cant wait to get away!

im going to quickly rant about my ex now cos i havent done to anyone for ages! when we broke up we decided we would stay friends as he wasnt really a bad guy it just wasnt working. after 2 years we were just in a rut and neither of us had the time or patience to deal with it and make it better. however now its a different story! he has decided that the break up was all my fault and we have to sort things out as he has realised he still loves me (something he never told me in the realtionship) and wants things to work. without sounding harsh to him i said i would never get back with him as we both are now leading different lifes and without sounding to cheesy we are 'discovering' ourselves. after much pleading i have agreed to meet him when i go home on saturday, he thinks its a chance to sort things out when really i just want my flip flops back!

byeeeee x